A Case for Not Wearing Shirts or Pants

Hanne Gaby Odiele blurring the line between bra and crop top

Rihanna strikes again with a sheer, sequined bra that's too good to be hidden

RiRi is also adept at going sporty and streetwise

Miley Cyrus works a jersey with peep-toe pumps

Gigi Hadid channeling early-'90s boardroom-meets-boudoir style

Hanneli Mustaparta going minimal in more ways than one

Just ask Lady Gaga: a bra and bloomers are comfier than "real" clothes

And so is a bra and leather chaps (maybe...)

What would Yeezus (and Kendall Jenner) do? Say "screw it" to pants, that's what

Your humble writer taking her sports bra to the bar

And wearing Reformation boyshort briefs over tights and calling them "shorts"

Romper reappropriated as shorts (or adult fabric diapers)

A pinstriped shirtdress makes a fine, albeit bulky, new miniskirt

You know what I find to be annoying? When people say, "Hey, Anna, where are your pants?" or "You know, a sports bra is not a top." To that I respectively respond, "My pants are collecting dust in my closet where they belong" and "Tell that to my torso. Who asked you anyway?"

Do you remember the Seinfeld episode when Elaine gives her recurring frenemy Sue Ellen Mischke a brassiere to send the message, "Bitch, put on a bra!" Elaine's passive-aggressive gift backfires, and Sue Ellen proceeds to gleefully wear the bra as a top, much to the distraction-inducing delight of Upper West Side men. It looks like Elaine's well-endowed nemesis was on to something. 

As long as your chosen garments are functional to cover at least the essentials (genitals, etc.), then who's to say what qualifies as acceptable items of clothing or not? I happen to enjoy eliminating seemingly integral elements of apparel. Not for the sake of shock value or a big reveal but because that whole shirt-and-jeans thing gets seriously boring and so do your standard dresses. Re-designating garments like tap shorts designed for the boudoir or a stretchy sports bra with sweat-wicking durability to unlikely modes of your life is great when your wardrobe is making you yawn and you feel the need to switch things up.

Have a shirtdress you can't stand the sight of anymore? Unbutton the top half, then roll it down until it's fitted around the lower part of your waist, and pull the sleeves, knotting them the way you do when you tie a shirt around your waist. Jam a belt beneath the fabric folds to make it a little more form-fitting. Voila! You've got an offbeat (and probably kind of messy-looking) new skirt. 

To circle back, we should let Sue Ellen's style be a lesson to us: If you're going to wear your lacy underthing with nothing but a boxy blazer over it, make sure it's not of the perfunctory Wacoal or Warner's variety. Fear not visibility of the nipple! Rather, fear the lack of visibility of intention.